Hello everybody! I’m Chloe, it’s a pleasure to be blogging here on The Sunday Diary today! I blog over at Chloe Elizabeth, so if you’re into Fashion, Lifestyle and Mental Health posts then please do come over and check out my blog. It’d be a pleasure to have you!
I actually had a bit of a different idea to talk about in Girl Talk today. Well, different for me, anyway! I’ve never actually spoken explicitly about friendships in a blog post, but here I am! It’s something I think about a lot; I think that they can be really difficult to understand at times, quite like relationships (which I also suck at).
The first thing that I really wanted to touch on was that when we are young, friendships are far different to friendships as we age. Do you remember in school, playing with friends in the playground? I’m not sure whether it’s the same for you, as ultimately, we all have our own experience, but I sure do. I’d have friends come over to my house occasionally and we’d play after school, but otherwise I’d leave school, come home, and not see or hear from them until I was back in school!
Yet, aged 22, I find myself almost in constant contact with some of my friends and in infrequent contact with others. Both the development of social media and ageing has showed to me how different friendships are, as it depends on the expectations of the two of you, the duration of your friendship and your own needs. I have friends who I’ve been close with since reception (yep, we used to play together!) who I catch up with probably twice/three times a year, and occasionally over text, as we’re all in different places doing different things. I have friends who I see almost daily at work, and others who I talk to very frequently and we make plans often as we have the same interests and goals.
What I’m trying to say is, there’s’ no real expectation of how often you should talk to somebody to consider them your friend! Just because a friend hasn’t spoken to you in a week, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve forgotten you. Real life just gets in the way sometimes! It all depends on the relationship that the two of you have, and I think you’ll know in your own heart whether it’s a good friendship or not.
Additionally, as we age we begin to realise that not everybody has the same intentions as we do. For me, forming a friendship comes from a genuine place of enjoying spending time with somebody and wanting to get to know them. Yet, the harsh truth is that not everybody may see things this way! During the course of my education I’ve had many friends who’ve asked me for constant help with work, yet disappear once they’ve received everything that they need. I’ve had friends who would criticize me un-necessarily, and try to put me down. The fact of the matter is, that friendship needs to be reciprocated, and these are quite simply not friendships. Well, not healthy friendships at that.
I’ve also learnt through time that we can try to hold onto these unhealthy friendships, but nothing good will ever come of it. At the time, it can be very difficult to let go, but ultimately it will make you feel better once it has been done, and you’ll look back and learn a lesson from it.
People coming and going as we move through life is completely natural. It’s not you. But be sure to treat your friends how you’d like to be treated, and life will gradually show you who has genuine intentions and who does not. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on understanding and balancing friendships in the comments box, and if you fancy a chat or some advice then feel free to message me on Twitter or Instagram!